General Dating Advice

Finding a Date - Online
Copyright 2001 Saumya Mans

What exactly does it mean - finding a date online? There are practically thousands of sites on the Internet claiming to get you the ultimate date of your dreams. They claim their databases have millions of prospective matches just waiting for your attention.

In today's age, when the Net has become an integral part of our day-to-day life, we just cannot ignore its role when it comes to looking for someone to love. If it's not the ultimate place to hunt, it surely has a few dice to roll.

There are basically three types of surfers looking at the online dating sites - the casual surfers who have got nothing better to do in life, the surfers who have accidentally arrived at an online dating site, and then those who really mean business. So before you begin to contemplate this vast ocean of probable relationships, decide what sort of a surfer you are.

Once you have decided that you really want to find a date, a lover, or whatever, on the Net, put aside some time to click around in a relaxed manner. Initially you might feel overwhelmed. You might not find anything, and you might find so much that somewhere you forget what exactly you were looking for.

To begin with, visit some message boards or chat rooms. People are generally whiling away their time at these places, but you can get a hang of things. But to be frank, if you are serious about your stuff, such places will put you off.

Before visiting various online dating sites, prepare a profile of yours. Don't make it a pyrotechnic verbal assault. Be truthful about yourself. Sit quietly and think about what sort of image you want to portray. Are you looking for a short-term affair or a long-term relationship? No matter what's your objective, be sincere and be specific.

This brings to my mind an incident I had with my girlfriend recently. We met through a dating newsletter. I had no idea how I had subscribed to it. So on a day when I was looking for an unsubscription mailing address (I was fed up of reading all the horny handles the newsletter contained), I noticed her name. I noticed it because hers was the only name from India.

Anyway, I just wrote her a message saying that it was very refreshing to see a name that sounded close to home, and then she replied and then I replied and then she replied and we kept replying for a couple of months till she got a job in Delhi and came here.

So during a recent quarrel, she complained that I'm not what she thought I was. I asked her, "Do I behave a wee bit different from what I used to write in my emails, or from the way I talked on the phone before we had met?"

She said no. She cooled down, and said that it was a great thing to know that I had never written something that didn't represent my genuine thoughts.

What I mean to say is, no matter how harsh it sounds, stick to sincerity if you seek sincerity. Don't concoct. No matter what sort of relationship you are looking for, mention it. People like that.

Get yourself photographed and let the photograph represent your true physical profile. This is a good policy. Remember that romance is a great hallucinogen. In a jiffy it creates princes and princesses and we begin to see the prospective lover in a fantastical representation. Not everybody is Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts. It's better that the opposite person falls in love with yourself rather than an imaginary entity.

Sense of humor is important. Get it, acquire it, develop it, but don't feign it. This is perhaps one of the very few things you can't pretend (unless you are a gifted writer, like yours truly ;-) ). Everybody loves a good, straightforward and sincere sense of humor. If you can manifest some sense of humor in your profile or introductory message, I think you quest is half over.

Don't boast. It really puts people off.

Finding a date online is a long process. It's a misconception that on the Net, since millions of people interact daily, it's easier to bump into like-minded, amiable people. You do bump into many people, but just as it happens in the physical world, finding a love that hits at the right spot takes its own share of effort and energy. The good aspect is, from your bedroom, you can reach someone at the opposite side of the globe. Who knows, in the near future, you might reach someone at the opposite side of the galaxy too.

About the Author:
Saumya Mans publishes an ezine - FIND A SOUL MATE EZINE -
and you can subscribe to it by sending a blank email at
The site for this ezine is
He also owns an online dating site:



dating online