Dating Advice - How to use mass dating services

Does "Mass" Dating Work?

Mass dating, for the purpose of this article, encompasses dating services, singles' ads on the web and in newspapers and magazines, and other services and venues specifically designed for singles to meet and "find" each other.

As I said in last week's newsletter, while singles shouldn't initiate a mass dating campaign for the sole purpose of finding the right person, there are many great benefits in starting such an effort.

But can and does mass dating lead to Mr. or Ms. Right? This is an interesting question, given that hundreds, if not thousands of web, newspaper, in-person, etc. dating services are betting on the fact that it can and does.

The truth is some people do meet their mates while mass dating. The question is, what distinguishes these people from millions of others who try and try, and yet fail to meet their mate the mass dating way.

I have a theory about why most singles fail to meet the right person on the Internet, through personal ads, dating services, etc. The person who is looking for a mate will not be able to find him or her.

Does that sound crazy, perhaps cruel, incomprehensible? And yet chances are you are single and have been looking for a mate, perhaps for a long time, and have not found him or her.

This is why finding your Mr. or Ms. Right by mass dating will almost always lead to failure. By nature of your participation, you are looking for a mate.

Then why do some people succeed at finding their mates in mass dating venues? A very small percentage of people just get lucky. But my hunch is that most of these people are successful because they are only trying mass dating for fun. They are not investing their hopes and dreams in the activity. Most likely these people also have fulfilling lives, are happy, and have a great community with wonderful friends. They are more likely not even "looking" for a mate.

Do you want to be one of the people who gets lucky and meets a compatible mate while mass dating? Here are the steps to follow:

1. First and most importantly, create a great life and a great community. Make sure your life is not a life that looks great on the outside, yet does not feel great. Make sure it is a truly wonderful life.

2. Then stop looking for a mate. One day, when you least expect it, you will meet someone nice. There will be a mutual interest in spending time together. You will start dating, having fun, getting to know each other. Eventually, you will discover that you have been spending time with your Mr. or Ms. Right all along.

3. Use mass dating for fun and learning only. For ideas of what you can learn while mass dating, read last week's article at 

Later this week, look for a special edition of the Relationship Coach Newsletter, full of mass dating resources.

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"



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