Dating Tips for Singles

How to Stop Being Single

Are you single but don't want to be? If so, are you also not dating?

You're not alone. Many singles who want to be in a committed relationship tend to date very rarely or not at all. And they can't really be blamed. After all, how do you date if you have trouble finding people to date? How do you date if you can't ever find someone compatible? How do you date when those who you like are not interested in you? How do you date if you are never asked out. Sound familiar?

When I coach singles who complain about a lack of dating opportunities, I suggest online and local dating services and singles events in their town. Single adults comprise 50% of the general population, and many businesses cater to this strong market. Because of this, nearly every city has opportunities for singles to meet for dating and fun. Look through your phone book, your local newspaper and the Internet for information on singles events. Some of the local venues are sure to have the type of people who would love to date you and who you would love to date.

When I make a suggestion to singles to work on dating more, I am usually met with resistance. People who are willing to invest hundreds of hours in their business or fitness become unwilling to invest the time and effort required for the thing they value most--love.

The first reason singles usually list when explaining why they resist participating in singles-oriented events is it takes time and money. Afterall, finding a person to date is time-intensive and dating services can be expensive. However, I'm sure you'll admit that when you want something badly enough money and time ceases to be an issue.

With a little more prodding, singles usually admit that they feel there is a stigma associated with the singles scene. They may feel that participating in singles-oriented activities is like admitting there is something wrong with them, admitting a certain desperation and loneliness.

Further, singles tend to believe that their true love will simply show up in their lives when the time is right. Therefore, they feel that actively pursuing a mate is either an admission that something is wrong, or a waste of time.

Fortunately there is no longer a stigma associated with participating in the single scene. Our society has accepted the fact that busy singles have limited time in which to meet possible relationship partners. Going to singles events makes you smart and sociable, rather then signaling there is something wrong with you. To use a dating service locally or on the net shows you are selective and open to a relationship, rather than desperate.

It's important to recognize that the partner of your dreams won't just show up at your doorstep one day. You may not even meet him or her while dating. He or she will show up when you have a great life and being single stops being a complaint. Having a full dating schedule will go a long way to help this.

If you are not currently dating, your relationship muscle is out of shape. First you need to learn to date, to attract and feel comfortable with the opposite sex. Then you will be ready to attract "the one", enjoy the fulfillment that comes with having true love, and stop being single.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

This article was originally published by Coach Rinatta Paries in "The Relationship Coach Newsletter," a weekly e-zine for people who want fulfilling relationships. For singles, the newsletter will help you attract your Mr. or Ms. Right. If you're in a relationship, you will learn to create more closeness and intimacy with your mate. To subscribe, go to



dating tips for singles